Monday, July 16, 2012

Epiphanies of God

      Some people are  just slow learners when it comes to the things of the Spirit. I am one of those. God has tried again and again to teach me the same lesson and I still have yet to fully grasp the lesson. Though I am a slow learner, I am still a learning. Through this trip I think I am finally catching on to His lessons and not just learning but remembering the lesson.  I think…think…I am getting to the point where I understand how God is working in my life to teach me these things and how to apply more fully to my life.

      God has continually been reminding me that He is charge of my life. He is at the wheel, guiding me where He wants me to go. He is allowing certain things into my life to remind me that He is the Ruler of my life. See the little pattern there? He, He, he. It’s all about Him. He has always been teaching me this, but now I am finally seeing that He is really the center of my life. I have always known this, but now I am seeing all the more that He is more then just  my God and my King, He is my Master. My Lord. The Captain of my soul. He is my all in all.  

      God has finally brought me to the breaking point in my walk. He has brought me to complete brokenness so as to reveal to me all that He is. He has brought me to my knees in submission to and awe of Him. God knows that up till now I have never weakened in my resolve to follow Him wherever He leads me, but He also knew that until I had experienced the sorrow and homesickness that accompanies the role of being a missionary, I would never be fully qualified to do His work. He knew that until I had been tempted to forsake my calling and return to my family, I would never be strong enough to go where he sends me.

        This past month I have been tempted again and again to abandon the whole missionary thing once I got home and live a “normal” life. But time and time again I have been strengthened in the Lord and have come out of that temptation having defeated Satan’s plan to turn me and emerged stronger and more resolved each time. God truly knows what He is doing in my life and I have no fear whatsoever that He will lead me astray or allow unnecessary harm to come to me.  I know that whatever happens is all a part of His will and nothing is by “accident”.

        I know that this life I have accepted is not going to be easy. I know that I will face hardships with worse homesickness and sorrow, but God never promised me that it would be easy. Look at Christ's life. He chose the good life, the path that He was ordained to walk, the life and fate that God had called Him to. His life is a perfect example for me of what my life should be as well. Just as my Savior did before me, I need to embrace those hardships and count them as blessings because I know I will come out of them stronger and more patient in my walk.

       I have been placed on this planet for a reason. I have been called to this life of ministry for a purpose.  A purpose that was destined from before my birth. Before I ever came to an age of understanding, God had placed this calling on my life. I am not here by chance but for this chance to serve my Lord. I have been called to a sacred duty, a holy purpose, a once in a lifetime opportunity to serve the Great King in this small way.

       For whatever reason, God has seen fit to call me into this life. There never was an option for me. Though I struggle now, it is simply a test of my strength and a trial for my faith. I will follow the plan that my Lord has for me and I will fulfill this sacred calling. I have been summoned into the service of the King and when He sends I go, when He summons I stay. The Lord’s protection lies over my life. There is no going back. My life is not my own. Never has been and never will be. I am entirely at His disposal for as long as He has need of me!  June 8th, 2012 was just the starting point for this amazing journey that lies before me. I have now started out and will not rest from the Lord’s service until He either calls me home or tells me my work is in this field is completed.
                                                              “For the glory of God!”

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