Friday, February 14, 2020

Frasier's birthstory


  It was a rainy April morning when I woke up with braxton hicks. Having had prodromal labor for weeks, i went about my day without a second thought to the fact that these were different. A little before noon I noticed they were getting stronger but still inconsistent. My midwife stopped by around 1 to drop off some NORA tea and told me she was heading to a different birth. She joked that I couldn't go into labor that day. After she left Dan and I were laughing about how weird it would be if we were the second birth in her 30yrs experience that she was double booked. Little did we know, that's exactly what was happening.

  By 4:00 that afternoon, my contractions were
7minutes apart, so I called my midwife to give her a heads up that I was definitely in labor. Being with another first time mom, she didn't think she would make it in time. So she called in a backup team who arrived around 8:00 that night. By the time they got there contractions were less than 4 minutes apart. We set up the birthing pool and settled in for what we thought would be a short night. Sometime around 1:00am, the midwife sent me to bed to try to rest since things were taking a while. I slept for an hour and then settled onto my birthing ball to try to strengthen the contractions. My original midwife arrived around 4am and sent the other team home. By 6:00 the contractions were coming one on top of the other with less than a minute break between. I had been laboring in the pool since 5:00 so my midwife had me try some pushes. I pushed for an hour with no change.

  When my midwife checked my progress we discovered I was barely at a 6. While Dan ran to walmart to get some evening primrose oil to help things along, I continued to labor in the pool. Upon his return, my midwife checked me again and rubbed some evening primrose oil on my cervix. My cervix was barely effaced and baby boy had yet to engage like he should've. I continued to labor between the bed and the tub for several more hours with my midwife checking me and using the EPO every hour. I tried to rest throughout the day but the contractions were so intense I could barely sleep. By nightfall I was only at a 7. I had uncontrollable shakes and was so tired I thought I might puke.

  I was sent to bed again. This time when I awoke, I had almost made it to an 8, but had a cervical lip that was preventing me from dilating any further. With the next contraction my midwife manually removed the lip. From this point on, with every contraction she was stretching my cervix to help me dilate further. (Talk about pain on top of pain!!!) By 2:30am I was on so exhausted that the contractions started pacing further apart. I was on oxygen to help me control my breathing and keep from passing out. Out of fear for mine and Frasier's lives, my midwife had me start pushing without being fully dilated. With each contraction and push, she continued to stretch me to make room for his head. I pushed for 3 hours before he finally crowned because he kept getting stuck on my pelvic bone. Upon crowning, we discovered my perenium bands were too tight to accommodate his head. After 45min of pushing, I was given a 3rd degree episiotomy to get him out. With 2 more contrations he flew into the world, at 6:28 am on April 10th, moving so fast the midwife almost couldn't catch him. He came out growling and looking around.

  I had a rush of pure relief that it was over and he was safe. They laid him on my chest and the first thing I noticed was his huge hands. Lol! My waters had broken when he crowned, and I could now see that there had been some meconium in them as Frasier was green and covered in poop. (The stinker pooped all over me as he lay there too!) I was given a shot of pitocin and my midwife started tugging on the cord to deliver the placenta. After the placenta came out Dan was given the baby so my midwife could stitch me up. Seeing my husband with our child filled me with such joy and love. I loved seeing the tenderness and awe with which he gazed at his son. By 9:00am everything was cleaned up and everyone had gone home. Dan and I were left in a quiet house to snuggle our new son and finally- FINALLY- sleep.

  A year later, as I reflect on those 3 days I can see the Lords hand all over the birth. The fact that Frasier came out strong and healthy after that ordeal is nothing short of a miracle. Not only the birth, but the labor as a whole was covered by God's grace. Frasier's heartrate never faltered. He was strong and happy -and very active- the entire time. And somehow, I had enough energy to stay with it and never needed to transfer in to the hospital. The next morning when I woke up exhausted and in pain, all I felt was gratitude. Overwhelming gratitude that things didn't turn out differently.


Yes, I am disappointed in the way things went. I didn't get the birth I wanted; I ended up on my back in the bed. I didn't get to see him be weighed and measured. I never got to see my placenta. Dan didn't get to cut the cord. I didn't get to deliver in the pool. I wound up with a lot of stitches and a long recovery. It was long, it was hard and it was scary. I grieve for the birth we didn't get: for those first meetings I missed because I was on bedrest and those precious moments immediately after the birth that i was too dazed to be a part of. But that grief and disappointment aren't Frasier's story. His birthstory is one of grace and redemption.  Shortly before he was born I asked if someone could pray; I felt a presence in that room that was not of God. As we prayed that presence left and I felt the peace of God wash over me, giving me a new strength. Frasier was born soon after, perfect and healthy, despite the concerns we had had.

God has great plans for this child. Satan wanted to end his life but God was in control and every day with this beautiful, healthy, strong willed boy is proof of that. I rejoice in the victory God had over that situation; over the life Frasier now gets to live, and I am thankful every day that I get watch His plan unfold in this sweet boy's life.