Last night my 23 year old cousin passed away after a long battle with illness. It was the first time I've ever seen someone pass to the door of eternity. As I stood at her bedside holding her hand while Mama prayed with her, I was begging God, as I had done all week, to please not take her until she was right with Him. I was scared. I was terrified for her as I thought of how close she was to meeting God, yet she was not ready. We prayed until she had passed on. Then it hit me. A wave of such terror and sorrow as I had never known. My cousin was standing before the throne of God and I had no idea where she was going from there. As I begged God to bring her into His folds, all I could think was "what more could I have done?! What more was God telling me do that I didn't do?!"
This though bugged me late into the night as I lay awake long after everyone else was asleep. As a Christian, I had "done my duty" to her and had planted seeds for years. Yet as a cousin, I know I could have and should have done more. Though I tried for years to witness to her (through Mama she did accept Him once, but walked away from Him when she was older), there came a time when I gave up and from then on I didn't mention it again. I only prayed. How we all prayed for years!!! My heart burns today as I think about my cousin, somewhere in eternity, and I do not know where she is.All I can do is cling to the promises of the Bible that God is mighty to save even at deaths door and that those who call on the name of the Lord will be saved (Romans 10:13). I heard somewhere, that Christians have the power over one's eternity, even once they've passed on. That we can change someone's eternity through our prayers and our belief. Though I don't know if this is true, I continue to pray for my cousin, beseeching the Lord on her behalf to take her home with Him.
This situation has really shown me just how fragile human life is, through a painfully personal example of that. I keep thinking, "how many more people like Alicia, have I allowed to pass through my life without making a better attempt at planting seeds into their lives? How many times has God tried to get my attention to witness to someone and I have haven't done it?" I haven't been making the most of every opportunity I've been given. I've been neglecting my duty as a Christian. I pray that God will help me learn this lesson once and for all, and apply it to my life in all areas, so that I never let another opportunity slip by without doing anything about it.
"For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust.
Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die."
Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die."
Psalm 103:13-14
"For the glory of God!"
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