Distputing fear

I’m running…and running..but I can’t run fast enough. They’re always behind me..chasing me... closing in on me. They get closer. I scream...

and then I wake up.  

It’s always the same. I wake up just before they catch me.  These are the dreams that haunt my sleep whenever I think of returning to Africa. My fear has become the enemies tool to slow God’s plan with me.

     But I will not be defeated.  There is a stubbornness in me that  refuses to be trampled down. God has called me for a reason and no matter how scared I am, I refuse to let Satan stop me. 

     I think of those little arms that entwine themselves around my neck. The sad eyes that long for love; the millions of orphans around the world that have no hope and I'm filled with anger and determination. 

    I remember the joy I felt while being there, fulfilling God's plan. There was so much love in my heart I thought it would burst as I held those hurting children and brought laughter to their hearts as I loved them.  I think of how God's grace transformed their lives and brought hope back into their hearts. These are the thoughts that sustain my call. These are the memories that spur my determination not to be hampered. 

 

 

When I'm in Africa I experience a whole new measure of joy. I just need to say no to fear and yes to the nudge in my heart. One day I will stand once more upon that red dirt with the warm breeze on my face. I will hear their laughter and will feel His presence like I only do when in His perfect plan. When that day comes and I hear His summons, I'll gather every ounce of faith that I possess and throw fear to the wind. No matter how scared or small I feel, I will go. For this I know: God won't send me where His grace can't protect me. I'm never alone; there is nowhere I'll go that He won't be.

“For the glory of God!”