How easy it is to feel overwhelmed about life, and let yourself spiral into stress unnecessarily. School takes over 3hrs now. Benny is still tiny and need - and currently sick. So he's been a lot. Both boys are in soccer, on separate teams. Bible study starts next week and mom group and Friday play group are every week. Not to mention, the upcoming move and all the logistics and chaos of that coming soon.
It's a lot. It's chaotic and overstimulating. It leaves me feeling overwhelmed and discouraged; like I'm failing at life. But am I really? Is it really that much?
My baby is healthy. Sure, he's sick now. But he's whole, and strong, and growing like a weed. He's *healthy.*
My boys GET to stay home with me because I chose to homeschool. I have the gift of teaching them myself. Yes, it's a lot. Yes, it gets frustrating and overstimulating. But I get every day, all day with my boys, making memories together- creating a childhood together, because of homeschooling.
Our social lives are chaotic and busy. It's a lot to keep track of and gets tiring. But my boys get to experience playing sports and making new friends on a regular basis because we have such busy schedules. They will never miss out on hearing mom cheer from the sidelines, or struggle with loneliness because their friend group is so small. I get to be in a bible study with my hubby, and meet with other moms on a regular basis, giving me a chance to breath and regroup with other parents in the same life stage, enabling me to be a better mother to my boys.
The upcoming move feels scary and overwhelming, but this is a move we have prayed for and been working towards for 10 years. An answered prayer a long time coming. The chaos and exhaustion is going to give way to more space for our boys, and the ability to -finally- let them loose to experienced boyhood with city reservations. We'll get to grow our own food, own our own farm animals and get a break from current financial stress.
So, yes. Life is a lot right now, and it's easy to dwell on the negatives and lose sight of what God has done and is doing for us. But today, I'm choosing to focus on God's gifts; I'm choosing to remember that I'm living the life I always prayed for. God gave me these answers, He can get me through this season.
