On Monday, September 27th I was faced with every mother's worst nightmare: my son was missing. As if from a far off distance, I heard the officer ask for a description of Frasier. I stood there in a daze, somehow answering his questions with a strange calm about me. All the while, my mind was reeling with the "what if's" and mom guilt.
What started as an ordinary Monday took a turn for the worst around noon. 2 year old Frasier had been playing outside with his cousins while I sat inside with the baby. I kept a close eye out the window, but when I lost sight of him and his 11 year old uncle told me he was in the barn, I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't until 20 minutes had passed and I still hadn't seen him come out, that I started to worry. I popped out the door and started calling for him. When I didn't get an answer I went down to check the barn: he wasn't in there. A quick search of the property showed he wasn't on the premises.
I felt a growing sense of dread as my mom and sisters joined the search, trying to ignore the fear creeping up inside me. "He's probably just over the hill at the apple tree," I kept thinking. But he wasn't there. The tears started falling as fears of mountain lions and other doom crept into my mind. In a panic I ran through the draw as fast as I could, screaming his name. My sisters- on horseback- went in opposite directions, Dan was called from work and in sheer desperation, 911 was called.
While we waited for the cops to show up, more siblings, friends and neighbors poured in the help search. It was becoming increasingly obvious that he wasn't near the property, which led to darker fears. By now, Dan and I were starting to fear we would never see our sweet boy again. Sick with fear and grief, I begged God to save my boy. I'd do anything to have him safe in my arms again.
After an hour of searching, a cry went out that he'd been found. The following 10 minutes were the longest of my life as we waited with fearful anticipation for my brother to come back with him: was he alive? Hurt? Unconscious? So many questions. Finally, we spotted them as they appeared on the skyline above the property: he was alive. I wept with joy as I ran towards them. Shaking with relief, I grabbed my boy from Shadd's arms. I stood there weeping as I thanked God over and over for giving me another chance with Frasier.
As things settled down, we got the details from Shadd. Frasier was found nearly a mile and a half from the house, hiding under a bush crying for mom. My sister's goldendoodle had gone with him and was standing guard over him, barking. It was her constant barking that led Shadd to them. Frasier was thirsty and tired and very scared, but unharmed. How he made it that far or what made him wander, we'll never know. And I don't need to know. All I know is that God answered our prayers in mighty ways, protecting Frasier while he was out there and guiding Shadd to him.
I will forever be grateful that God answered our prayers that way. Each day with my sons is a gift, but now I have a greater appreciation for the time that we are given with them. Mothering is hard work. It's emotional and stressful and tiring. But it is truly one of the greatest gifts God has given women. Motherhood is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. We are never guaranteed more time with our children, so make the most of that time. Savor every precious moment and never forget to remind your children of how much they are loved- not only by you, but the One Who knew them and loved them long before you did.
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