Everett's birth story

 

It's been 3 weeks and I'm still in awe at what my body accomplished, bringing my sweet babe into the world. Frasier's birth was traumatic and exhausting, leaving me in fear of ever giving birth again. Even now, 2 years later, I still look back at that experience with great disappointment, cringing as I remember the fear and the helplessness I felt. It took me over a year to heal enough to face the prospect of another birth, and by God's grace, Everett's birth was drastically different. This birth has left me feeling empowered and amazed by what the female body can do. I reflect on this birth with gratitude that God gave us such a healing experience, helping me let go of my fears.

  Other than the summer heat, Everett's pregnancy was smooth and comfortable. Thankfully, we both stayed strong and healthy the entire time. I loved feeling my active little guy rolling and playing inside, but it turned out that he was moving TOO much. Three weeks before his due date, my little guy rolled face up. A movement that turned out to be the first of 9 rotations that he would make over the next  2 weeks. From there, he flipped breech/head down 4x, followed by several turns face up/face down. After a stressful - and exhausting- couple weeks of nightly positioning contractions and multilple chiropractor visits, we finally got baby head down and engaged.

  A week before our due date, I stated experiencing stronger, more consistent contractions. I woke up at 1am on August 22nd, to my first painful contraction. As I lay in bed riding it out, I felt my water break. Dan called the midwife as I cleaned myself up and started preparing for labor. The midwife arrived at 2:45am and started prepping me for an IV- since my waters had broken and my group-B status was unknown. Upon checking me we found that I was only at 3cm so I went back to bed to get some sleep before things picked up.  Shortly after 6am, Dan took Frasier over over my parents house so that our house would be quiet for me.

  Another midwife arrived shortly after 7am to place an IV catheter in my arm. By this time I was between 4-5cm but contractions were consistently between 4-6min apart. I spent the morning alternating between pacing the backyard, squatting over my birth ball and resting. By 1pm, I had stalled at 5.5cm with a cervical lip. My midwife left to get lunch so that Dan and I could spend some time alone, while I continued walking the yard, climbing the stairs and doing lunges across the house to dissolve the lip.

  About 3pm I decided I was ready for my mom to come over, as things were starting to pick up. By the time the midwives got back I was going thru transition. The lip was gone, but baby had bounced back up, so we started doing some positioning techniques to bring him back down and align him correctly. By 5pm I was in active labor and could no longer sleep or talk thru the contractions. I spent the next several hours resting with the peanut ball between my balls and sitting on my birthing ball in the shower. Through this whole time, Dan was my biggest supporter and encouragement; holding my hands and letting me lean on him during contractions. Around 9pm, as I was sitting in the shower I had my first "pushy" contraction. I caught a look of panic on Dan's face as he watched my belly; "That one was different wasn't it??" He rushed out to tell the midwife we were getting close. Dan started heating the birthing pool as my mom helped me into my swim top. I was now at 8.5cm but contractions had spaced to 6-10min apart, so I  spent the remaining hours resting between contractions, while floating my belly in the water during them. A little after 10:30 I felt my inner water bag break and instantly had the urge to push. After 3-4 pushes, I could feel his head. The midwife team kept telling me to look down so I would see him, but I was too scared. I had done this at Frasier's birth 2hrs into pushing but seeing how little of his head was out,  had set me back mentally. After several minutes, of coaxing, Dan quietly grabbed my hand and moved it down to touch Everett's head. Upon feeling his hair, I finally opened opened eyes and looked down. Half of his head was out! I could see a mass of blonde hair floating in the water. It was amazing and surreal. Seeing how close he was to coming out gave me the mental strength I needed. With the next contraction I decided it was done- he was coming out NOW. I took a deep breath and pushed harder than I had ever pushed before. I felt a rush of relief as his head popped out; another breath and his body shot out.

  My beautiful boy was born at 11:17 on August 23rd, after 22hrs of labor. He was born with a triple cord wrap around his neck. My midwife quickly unwrapped him and placed him on my chest. As tears of joy and relief rolled down my face, the midwife team rushed to clear his lungs and get him breathing. After delivering the planceta, I was moved to the couch where the team continued to work on Everett, who was struggling to breath. A few pumps of oxygen and some hard back rubs and he finally let out a big wail, clearing his lungs.

  I was left to snuggle my boy while the team started cleaning up. As I gazed at this blue eyed, blonde boy I was filled with a deep love and gratitude that this beautiful baby had made it safely thru his pregnancy and delivery. I had harbored much fear and anxiety the duration of the pregnancy, that something was gonna go wrong and my boy wouldn't make it. So to sit there and finally be holding him- my strong and healthy boy- was the deepest relief and joy.

  A while later, Everett was passed to Dan so that I could be stitched up. Amazingly, none of my original scars had torn. I had but one insignificant tear that required just 2 stitches. Another answer to prayer. The team finished cleaning up, settled me and Everett in bed and headed home. We had been up for 25hrs, but laying there with a healthy baby, it was all worth it. Every single prayer and need in regards to the labor and delivery had been answered before we even knew there was going to be a need. I am overwhelmingly thankful that God worked everything out and gave me the healing and beautiful birth I had prayed for.

  This tiny boy whose name literally means, "bold and strong walker," is indeed just that: bold and strong. Despite having a prolonged labor with a triple cord wrap, his heartrate barely faltered the entire time. He was calm and strong and never had an issue. He is going to need that strength and boldness to live in the world he's going to grow up in. I pray that his name would be the definition of his character; that he would walk boldly and strongly in the Lord, never faltering. I pray that the Lord would continue to be with him the way he was during birth and that Everett would one day "see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." 

      ~*~*~

Everett Walker Carr

8lbs. 1oz

20 3/4in long 

August 23rd, 2021 11:17pm 

❤ ❤ ❤

Frasier's journey

  On Monday, September 27th I was faced with every mother's worst nightmare: my son was missing. As if from a far off distance, I heard the officer ask for a description of Frasier.  I stood there in a daze, somehow answering his questions with a strange calm about me. All the while, my mind was reeling with the "what if's" and mom guilt.

   What started as an ordinary Monday took a turn for the worst around noon. 2 year old Frasier had been playing outside with his cousins while I sat inside with the baby. I kept a close eye out the window, but when I lost sight of him and his 11 year old uncle told me he was in the barn, I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't until 20 minutes had passed and I still hadn't seen him come out, that I started to worry. I popped out the door and started calling for him. When I didn't get an answer I went down to check the barn: he wasn't in there. A quick search of the property showed he wasn't on the premises.

   I felt a growing sense of dread as my mom and sisters joined the search, trying to ignore the fear creeping up inside me. "He's probably just over the hill at the apple tree," I kept thinking. But he wasn't there. The tears started falling as fears of mountain lions and other doom crept into my mind. In a panic I ran through the draw as fast as I could, screaming his name. My sisters- on horseback- went in opposite directions, Dan was called from work and in sheer desperation, 911 was called.

   While we waited for the cops to show up, more siblings, friends and neighbors poured in the help search. It was becoming increasingly obvious that he wasn't near the property, which led to darker fears. By now, Dan and I were starting to fear we would never see our sweet boy again. Sick with fear and grief, I begged God to save my boy. I'd do anything to have him safe in my arms again. 

   After an hour of searching, a cry went out that he'd been found. The following 10 minutes were the longest of my life as we waited with fearful anticipation for my brother to come back with him: was he alive? Hurt? Unconscious? So many questions. Finally, we spotted them as they appeared on the skyline above the property: he was alive. I wept with joy as I ran towards them. Shaking with relief, I grabbed my boy from Shadd's arms. I stood there weeping as I thanked God over and over for giving me another chance with Frasier.

   As things settled down, we got the details from Shadd. Frasier was found nearly a mile and a half from the house, hiding under a bush crying for mom. My sister's goldendoodle had gone with him and was standing guard over him, barking. It was her constant barking that led Shadd to them. Frasier was thirsty and tired and very scared, but unharmed. How he made it that far or what made him wander, we'll never know. And I don't need to know. All I know is that God answered our prayers in mighty ways, protecting Frasier while he was out there and guiding Shadd to him.

   I will forever be grateful that God answered our prayers that way. Each day with my sons is a gift, but now I have a greater appreciation for the time that we are given with them. Mothering is hard work. It's emotional and stressful and tiring. But it is truly one of the greatest gifts God has given women. Motherhood is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. We are never guaranteed more time with our children, so make the most of that time. Savor every precious moment and never forget to remind your children of how much they are loved- not only by you, but the One Who knew them and loved them long before you did.